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This is a silly poem about changing size, i thought that if the potions or cakes and things from Alice in Wonderland were real and produced on the mass market, they’d have to be advertised, right? i suppose that that sort of surrealism would somehow be a bit more normalised.


Mushrooms can change your size!

If they are the right ones,

Picked in a certain place,

At a particular time.

Very Popular in Wonderland!

Now available in Poundland!

Baked into cakes

or energy drinks

Mixed in with caffeine and Bull Spunk

to jump start your day

or soften the mood.

I hear Waitrose make wine of it,

though that can make you confused,

And when the High Street

is full

Of people changing their shape

getting taller,

and shorter,

and longer,

and wide.

It’s contorted and unusual.

But if you’re up for the ride,

It’s a riot, I assure you,

when you can change size.